#1 humor site on the 'net

Scuba Diving Sucks

Up close whale shark pictures

Scuba Diving Sucks thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
The status quo sucks. - George Carlin

The story of Noah and the whale. - Archie Bunker

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

My clients are the whales and the seals. - Paul Watson

Ships are expendable; the whales are not. - Paul Watson

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

There is no eel so small but it hopes to become a whale. - German Proverb

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

They who dive in the sea of affliction, bring up rare pearls. - Charles H. Spurgeon

We've already hunted the gray whale into extinction twice. - Andrea Arnold

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

If you were to make little fishes talk, they would talk like whales. - Oliver Goldsmith

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

I write many essays on whales. I love whales, especially orcas. And dolphins. - Millie B. Brown

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

The problem is that Americans care more about saving whales than saving males. - Warren Farrell

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species. - Dave Barry

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffet

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

Size isn't everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine. - Bill Vaughan

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

If I see something sagging, bagging, and dragging, I'm going to nip it, tuck it, and suck it. - Dolly Parton

I would have brung you flowers too, but I read in a magazine that they suck up all the carbon monoxygen. - Archie Bunker

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Yoga in Palm Springs

Bartender Spill

Tetris Logger

Pigging Out in El Paso

Foot Care

Guitar Dog

Cutout Coin Silhouettes

Tree Tattoo

Alt-Ctrl-Del Pillows

Portable GPS

Australian Cyclist

Helicopter Cuts

Holland Bike Lane - For Pros Only

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Foosball for Girls

Youth Walk

Last Selfie

Broccoli Muffins

Get Along Shirt

Rooftop Steps

It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale