#1 humor site on the 'net

Structural Books

These books are RED and not meant to be READ

Structural Books thanks to Mike King

Books for not reading

QuotaBills
Books think for me. - Charles Lamb

Book lovers never go to bed alone. - Unknown

I don't read books. I write them. - Henry Kissinger

Wear the old coat and buy the new book. - Austin Phelps

The covers of this book are too far apart. - Ambrose Bierce

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

A book is a gift you can open again and again. - Garrison Keillor

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

Everything comes to him who waits. Except a loaned book. - Kin Hubbard

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

We shouldn't teach great books; we should teach a love of reading. - B.F. Skinner

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

A good book is like an unreachable itch. You just can't leave it alone. - Laura Bush

Next to acquiring good friends, the best acquisition is that of good books. - Charles Caleb Colton

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. - Moses Hadas

The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame. - Oscar Wilde

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? - Bette Midler

Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that's where it should stay. - Christopher Hitchens

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain

All good books have one thing in common - they are truer than if they had really happened. - Ernest Hemingway

The most important part of a story is the ending. No one reads a book to get to the middle. - Mickey Spillane

I am a writer of books in retrospect. I talk in order to understand; I teach in order to learn. - Robert Frost

I am not afraid that the book will be controversial, I'm afraid it will not be controversial. - Flannery O'Connor

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocket book groans more loudly than an empty stomach. - Franklin D Roosevelt

It is with books as with men: a very small number play a great part, the rest are lost in the multitude. - Voltaire

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. - Toni Morrison

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

Why aren't more gems from our great authors scattered over the country? Great books aren't within everybody's reach. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers

Bach Flip

Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork

Sorry

Dunking Straw

Vatican Chess

Boot Camp

Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball

Big Hands Baby

Fire Truck Sinkhole

Cyclist Mailbox

Tearable Puns

Penmanship

Tree Removal

I Sea Drums

Statue of Libertea