#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Bakery

Bubba bakes cookies on the road

Texas Bakery thanks to Keith Blake

Outdoor cooking in Dallas

QuotaBills
I wish I knew how to quit you. - Cookie Monster

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Life is better with fresh baked cookies. - Unknown

Raisin cookies are why I have trust issues. - Unknown

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

Baking is like washing - the results are equally temporary. - Patricia Briggs

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

You can't be a smart cookie if you have a crumbly attitude. - Unknown

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. - Hillary Clinton

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

My weak spot is laziness. Oh, I have a lot of weak spots: cookies, croissants. - Anthony Hopkins

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

Sometimes me think, 'What is Friend?' and then me say, 'Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.' - Cookie Monster

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole country, I think, like you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. - dina Menzel

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein

My dad actually makes the best cookies. My mum is great baker, too, but doesn't share them - it's tantalising! Luckily for me though, my dad shares his! - Blake Lively

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments. - Steven Wright

I can't convince you to put the drink down if you're an alcoholic, you have to want to do that. I can't convince you to stop eating the cookies when you're a diabetic. You have to do that. And that takes responsibility. - Don Young


Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers

Bach Flip

Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork

Sorry

Dunking Straw

Vatican Chess

Boot Camp

Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball

Big Hands Baby

Fire Truck Sinkhole

Cyclist Mailbox

Tearable Puns

Penmanship

Tree Removal

I Sea Drums

Statue of Libertea