#1 humor site on the 'net

Tonsil Ring

Ring around the Uvula

Tonsil Ring thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night. - WC Fields

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

He that respects himself is safe from others, he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


Mona Lisa - Behind The Scenes

Cultivator

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman

TP Safety

Crochet Shorts

Wine Bottle Recycling

Garden Outhouse

Alberta Winter Fridge

Wheelbarrow Wheelies

Redneck Deer Stand

Bucket Seat

Security Camera Setup

Smithton Stoneys

Hearse Parking

Just Saying Goodbye

Golden End of the Rainbow

Redneck Shower

Thank You For Driving

Debbie's Fridge

Just Be Ugly

Ex-Benedict

Scubaru

Irish Handcuffs

Irish Flu Shots