#1 humor site on the 'net

TV Weather Forecast

Local weather's bin better - now in the dumps

TV Weather Forecast thanks to Keith Blake

Where to go for the best weather forecast

Weather 4U - whether you like it or not

QuotaBills
The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Despite the forecast, live like it's spring. - Lilly Pulitzer

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television. - Donald Trump

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Dave Barry

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

So many people are on television that don't know me, and they're like experts on me. - Donald Trump

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright


Turtle Leash

Beach Trick - Head's Up

Turbo Charged Computer

Redneck Neighborhood Watch

Time To Hang Up The Thong

Our Grate Lord

Vertical Roller Coaster Ride

Girl's Party

Sleep Driving

Portuguese Airport Runway

Nintendo Wedding Cake

Going Nowhere Mall

Skateboard Suit

Texas Truck

Tailgate Coyote

Montreal Canadian Fan

Canadian Man Cave

Puffin Walk

Wine Gum Lamp

Stepladder Bike

Prison Escapee's Not-Quite-Clean Escape

Heh - That's My Ball!

Revenue Canada's Simplified Tax Form

Canadian Restroom Rules