QuotaBillsMoose are the squirrels of Alaska. - Tim Moon
If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett
Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold
If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman
A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor
I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx
Noise is a buffer, more effective than cubicles or booth walls. - Margaret Heffernan
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber
Individuals who act too 'cool' often freeze under pressure. - Unknown
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown
Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown
If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs
The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins
Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman
If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright
When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield
A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen
No matter how big and bad you are, when a 2-year-old hand you a toy phone, you answer it. - Unknown
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker
We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson
E-mails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many of them r 2 cursory 4 u. - Anna Quindlen
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright
When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
That's the kind of luck poor Mr. Lincoln had the night he went to the movies, and he sat in John Wilkes' booth. - Archie Bunker
Did Lincoln apologize to Alexander Graham Booth? Did you ever hear of scruples? I think Boom Boom caught 'em from a Chinaman. - Archie Bunker
Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson
Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder
NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump
This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown