#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby Hatching

Her first peek at the world

Baby Hatching thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Genius is sorrow's child. - John Adams

Success is the child of audacity. - Benjamin Disraeli

A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It takes an entire village to raise a child. - African Proverb

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

The great man is one who never loses his child’s heart. - Mencius

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up. - Will Rogers

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan


Master Chef Eggspert

Tire Trike

Pokemon Chasing

Welcome To Texas

Which Way To Go?

Happy ARRRRRRRHH!

Underground Parking

TV Conference

Chair Master

Killing Bugs

Alligator Ice

Dog Walker

Shanghai's Fullen Restaurant

Watts Wrong?

Beach Farmer

Facebook Wedding

Redneck Stealth Bomber

Lunch Anyone?

Coupon for Free Ride

How To Make A Deer Stand

Weather Forecast Toaster

Top-Heavy Truck with Afro Haircut

Hubcap Shine

Wooden Owl