#1 humor site on the 'net

Back Massage Track

How to get the kids to give you a back massage

Back Massage Track thanks to Marian Renstrom

Kids lend a helping hand to Dad

QuotaBills
No. I am your Father. - Darth Vader

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24

Everybody falls, but only winners get back on their feet. - Unknown

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan

When I die, I want to come back as Bobby Layne's chauffeur. - Don Meredith

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

We cannot walk alone... We cannot turn back... I have a dream today! - Martin Luther King Jr

What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back with a hinge in it. - Charles D. Warner

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it is awfully hard to get it back in. - H.R. Haldeman

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Even when the world throws its worst and then turns its back, there is still hope. - Pittacus Lore

It's not who you are that holds you back, It's who you think you're not. - Denis Waitley

The affection you get back from children is sixpence given as change for a sovereign. - Edith Nesbit

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

In bed, I'm totally impudent... (later) I got the feeling my prudence is coming back. - Archie Bunker

You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I am here to put you back on schedule. - Darth Vader

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

The best way to knock the chip off your neighbor's shoulder is to pat him on the back. - Unknown

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

That's what Abel was saying when he got it in the back from his own brother with a cane. - Archie Bunker

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

Assume any career move you make won't go smoothly. They won't. But don't look back. - Andy Grove

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes. - Elvis Presley

One day someone is going to hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together. - Unknown

The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. - Carl Bard

What politicians want to create is irreversible change because when you leave office someone changes it back again. - Estelle Morris

My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw

I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa

Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not going your way. - Edna Ferber

Faced with crisis, the man of character falls back on himself. He imposes his own stamp of action, takes responsibility for it, makes it his own. - Charles De Gaulle

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


WrenchWare

Pushing The Envelope

Social Media Explained

Pumping Services

Turn Into Lanes

Bull Squirrel

Sleep With Us

One Tough Lady!

Meep Meep

Just Thinking

Boneless Bananas

Fallen Heroes

Best Way To Honor The Fallen

Veterans Day Holiday

Life of Freedom and Peace

It's A Pittance Of Time

Patriot Blood

Juvenile Storage

Senior Wheelies

Dysfunctional Veteran

9 Month Scale

Young Who Suffer

Booger Queen

Expired Parking