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Birth Control At Its Finest

Preventing back seat accidents

Birth Control At Its Finest thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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