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Birth Control At Its Finest

Preventing back seat accidents

Birth Control At Its Finest thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt


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