#1 humor site on the 'net

Biting Nails

Manicure tips for hungry pirates

Biting Nails thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Looking your best for the Pirate Ball

QuotaBills
I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

Fashions change, but style is forever. - Unknown

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

On the other hand, you have different fingers. - Steven Wright

Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess. - Edna Woolman Chase

Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success. - Christopher Lasch

Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich. - Donald Trump

I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner

We shape our buildings. Thereafter they shape us. - Winston Churchill

Life and joy and beauty are better than dusty death. - Bertrand Russell

If you can see a bandwagon, it's too late to get on it. - James Goldsmith

Do not read beauty magazines. They only make you feel ugly. - Mary Schmich

Never touch your idols: the gilding will stick to your fingers. - Gustave Flaubert

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. - Unknown

Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed! - Phyllis Diller

Try as you may to hide, you can never contain the beauty of your Soul. - Cheryl lee Harnish

There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress. - Joseph Addison

Movies are a fad. Audiences really want to see live actors on a stage. - Charlie Chaplin

If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all. - Phyllis Diller

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers. - Phyllis Diller

There is nothing that makes its way more directly into the soul than beauty. - Joseph Addison

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks

Zest is the secret of all beauty. There is no beauty that is attractive without zest. - Christian Dior

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

As for everything else, so for a mathematical theory: beauty can be perceived but not explained. - Arthur Cayley

Just be yourself, and hopefully they can shape an epic space adventure around exactly who you are. - Chris Pratt

The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance. - Aristotle

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open, and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away. - Dorothy Parker

My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump

The ideals which have always shown before me and filled me with the joy of living are goodness, beauty and truth. - Albert Einstein

It is the style of idealism to console itself for the loss of something old with the ability to gape at something new. - Karl Kraus

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi

You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete. - R Buckminster Fuller

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

It is always self-defeating to pretend to the style of a generation younger than your own; it simply erases your own experience in history. - Renata Adler

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind


Ponge Bob

Bright Bookshelf

Let That Sink In

Lifting Heavy Objects

Black Friday Scam

Camel Photobomb

Leaky Pipes

Teabucks

CreepEye

Open For Business

Face Frost

Sleeping Guests

Garmin Drive

This Rocks

The Fall Of Adam

Canadian Archaeology

Unknown Assailant

Undergarment Financing

Shear Dog

Facebook Africa

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Tomato Treat

Evaluating Something

Cat Milk