#1 humor site on the 'net

Cat Beard

Emma Lou's beard needed a little of Jethro's trimming

Cat Beard thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Facial illusions of the feline kind

QuotaBills
A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there! - Minnie Pearl

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear


Nose Hair? She needs a Barb-hair

Window Washers at a Children's Hospital

Spaghetti Digest

Ready Soon

iPhone Charger

Tube Travel

Redneck Tree Fort

OCD Guy

World's Tallest Bus

Long Liquor Store

Happy Wood Pig

On Top Of Things

Anail Retention

Bat Flight

The No Brainer

Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast

1934 Modern Home

Fliptus

Copper Tubing Specialist

Bach Off Van

Boss Resume