#1 humor site on the 'net

Cultivator

How to till a Redneck garden

Cultivator thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Cycling for a practical farmer

QuotaBills
Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown

Happiness is a habit - cultivate it. - Elbert Hubbard

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. - Unknown

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. - Unknown

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you. - Richard B. Sheridan

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. - Daniel Webster

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Negative thoughts are like weeds in your garden and positive thoughts are the seeds of your garden, kill the weeds and feed the seeds. - Sukhi Burgen

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. - Dale Carnegie

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


Squirrel Gymnast

Economic Stimulation

Financial Meltdown

Redneck Tailgate

Marital Rating Chart - Wife

Mona Lisa - Behind The Scenes

Cultivator

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman

TP Safety

Crochet Shorts

Wine Bottle Recycling

Garden Outhouse

Alberta Winter Fridge

Wheelbarrow Wheelies

Redneck Deer Stand

Bucket Seat

Security Camera Setup

Smithton Stoneys

Hearse Parking

Just Saying Goodbye

Golden End of the Rainbow

Redneck Shower

Thank You For Driving

Debbie's Fridge