#1 humor site on the 'net

Dodgy Ticker

Where to keep your heart ticking

Dodgy Ticker thanks to Howard Chapman

Almost Free blood pressure clinic Down Under

QuotaBills
Stamped inedibly on my heart. - Archie Bunker

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Come live in my heart and pay no rent. - Samuel Lover

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Only the heart knows how to find what is precious. - Feodor Dostoyevsky

At the heart of all beauty lies something inhuman. - Albert Camus

You can dance anywhere, even if only in your heart. - Unknown

Though you break your heart, men will go on as before. - Marcus Aurelius

The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of. - Blaise Pascal

My heart is small, like a love of buttons or black pepper. - S. Jane Sloat

A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination. - Nelson Mandela

We arrive at the truth, not by reason only, but also by the heart. - Blaise Pascal

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart. - Unknown

Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball. - Jacques Barzun

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

True navigation begins in the human heart. It's the most important map of all. - Elizabeth K Lindsey

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart, don't know how to laugh either. - Golda Meir

For my part, I prefer my heart to be broken. It is so lovely, dawn-kaleidoscopic within the crack. - D.H. Lawrence

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

You reached into my soul and rearranged the position of my bones,
You rebuilt my rib cage so your heart could be home. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Good content should be at the heart of your strategy, but it is equally important to keep the display context of that content in mind as well. - Tim Frick

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away. - Madonna


Resurrection Sermon

Purrrfect Disguise

Easter Style Stars

Jewrusalem

Easter Math

Easter Lost

Cold Easter in Europe

Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.

Ottawa Senators Announcement

The Crucifixion

Driveway With A View

Reformed Buddhists

Coin Shopping

SwarchenEgger

Lighthouse Safety

First Signs Of Spring

Easter Sepulcher

Back-lash

Find 11 Faces

Redneck Electric Pool

Hokey Pokey Addict

Tired Of Snow

Moving Dot Illusion

Lehman Brothers Protest