#1 humor site on the 'net

Door Dancer

Bubba's method of leveling the door jambs

Door Dancer thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Why women live longer than men

QuotaBills
When one door shuts, a hundred open. - Spanish Proverb

If you want the girl next door, go next door. - Joan Crawford

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. - Unknown

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

Confidence is the hinge on the door to success. - Mary O'Hare Dumas

Opportunity may knock, but you must open the door. - Unknown

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. - Clarence Thomas

Desire is the key that opens the door when opportunity knocks. - Unknown

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. - Flora Whittemore

All successful revolutions are the kicking in of a rotten door. - John Kenneth Galbraith

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. - Paul Beatty

The door of opportunity won't open unless you do some pushing. - Unknown

listen; there's a hell of a good universe next door: let's go - e e cummings

Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before. - Joseph Campbell

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

When you ask "What if..." you open the door to all your options. - Unknown

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. - John Barrymore

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him. - Dutch Proverb

We make our friends. We make our enemies. But God makes our next-door neighbour. - G K Chesterton

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. - Saul Bellow

The door that nobody else will go in at seems always to swing open widely for me. - Clara Barton

When people ask if I do my own stunts, I always answer, "Not on purpose." - Billy Bob Thornton

If a door slams shut it means that God is pointing to an open door further on down. - Anna Delaney Peale

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

You can tell a man isn't handy when he asks the man next door how to get blood off a saw. - Milton Berle

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. - Ginnifer Goodwin

You can spend your precious energy beating down closed doors, or you can choose the doors that open when you knock. - Unknown

When you're following your inner voice, doors tend to eventually open for you, even if they mostly slam at first. - Kelly Cutrone

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling. - Robert M Pirsig

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson


How To Reduce Complaints at Work

Corset Bound

Bike Trike

Pizza Air's Inaugural Delivery

Tomato IV

Mechanic's Work Table

Alzheimer's Wing

I Don't Have Mushroom

Texas Peace Sign

Letting Your Hair Down

Eagle Makeup

Everything Is OK

Knot Art

Zipper Scar Tattoo

Swiss Army Mega Tools

Law of Emotion

Eiffel Tower Modifications

Joyous Lawyers

Acupuncture Face

Star Wars Episode VIII

LiverPool

Digger Dog

You Guys Make Me Sick

Chu Your Food Well