#1 humor site on the 'net

Dry Satellite

Bubba found a way to get a clearer TV signal

Dry Satellite thanks to Cathy Young

If only the eavestroughs didn't leak so much...

QuotaBills
Precision is not reality. - Henri Matisse

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. - Howard Ruff

Fiction reveals the truth that reality obscures. - Jessamyn West

Keep your faith in God, but keep your powder dry. - Oliver Cromwell

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. - Roger Miller

If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride. - Unknown

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Fearful as reality is, it is less fearful than evasions of reality. - Caitlin Thomas

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain. - Unknown

The reality is you either step into the future, or you become a dinosaur. - M Shadows

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. - Dolly Parton

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

Television: a medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. - Yoko Ono

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. - Groucho Marx

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops - let the rain sing you a lullaby. - Langston Hughes

You said you have a dream. Make your wonderful dream a reality, and it will become your truth. - Pokemon

When you expect good, it's available constantly, and it makes itself a reality in your life. - Alfre Woodard

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

From where we stand the rain seems random. If we could stand somewhere else, we would see the order in it. - Tony Hillerman

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

Dream your dream; and realize that you are more than just the dreamer, you are the point of origin for its reality. - Steve Maraboli

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

One supreme fact which I have discovered is that it is not willpower but imagination that creates. Imagination creates reality. - Richard Wagner

In our society those who are in reality superior in intelligence can be accepted by their fellows only if they pretend they are not. - Marya Mannes

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber


Herd Starter Kit

Royal Knit Wit

Yoda-Churchill

My First Accident

Shopping With Grandma

Ink Birds

Ponge Bob

Bright Bookshelf

Let That Sink In

Lifting Heavy Objects

Black Friday Scam

Camel Photobomb

Leaky Pipes

Teabucks

CreepEye

Open For Business

Face Frost

Sleeping Guests

Garmin Drive

This Rocks

The Fall Of Adam

Canadian Archaeology

Unknown Assailant

Undergarment Financing