#1 humor site on the 'net

Egg Family

Eggsellent artwork

Egg Family thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Putting on a brave face for the family picture

QuotaBills
One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples. - Archie Bunker

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Them eggs over there are startin' to foment. - Archie Bunker

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. - French Proverb

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket. - Mark Twain

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

I'll be down in the front row with a basket of last month's eggs. - WC Fields

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

If everything is good in the henhouse yous don't have to go out for eggs. - Archie Bunker

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor


Easter Egg Drop-outs

Spring Sock Clearance

Kiss-ter Eggs

Easter Tree

Easter Identity Theft

Easter Preparation Down Under

Manitoba Spring

Easter Canceled

Easter Car

Resurrection Sermon

Purrrfect Disguise

Easter Style Stars

Jewrusalem

Easter Math

Easter Lost

Cold Easter in Europe

Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.

Ottawa Senators Announcement

The Crucifixion

Driveway With A View

Reformed Buddhists

Coin Shopping

SwarchenEgger

Lighthouse Safety