#1 humor site on the 'net

Egg Timer

Online countdown timer - an eggsellent deal

Egg Timer thanks to Mel Hardman

QuotaBills
One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples. - Archie Bunker

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Them eggs over there are startin' to foment. - Archie Bunker

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. - French Proverb

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. - Unknown

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket. - Mark Twain

Dancing is like bank robbery - it takes split second timing. - Twyla Tharp

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

I'll be down in the front row with a basket of last month's eggs. - WC Fields

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

If everything is good in the henhouse yous don't have to go out for eggs. - Archie Bunker

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

No one has timing like Milton Berle. He has absolutely the finest timing of any comedian in the business. There's no one like him. - Sid Caesar

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor


Instant Engine Starting Down Under

Shakespeare Pens

Car-nage

Drum Kit Chandelier

Standoff

New Man Group

Octopus Skateboarding

Sling Signs

Beauty Bag

Dodgy Ticker

Orcar

Eastwooding

Sandal Security

Folding Bike

Ladies Golf

Mommy's Diet

Goat Trick

Why The Dog Left

Sex Education in Saskatchewan

Unattended Children

Slovak Muffler Accessory

Towel, Please

Onward, My Noble Steed!

Donut Sale