#1 humor site on the 'net

Extra Safe Lock

Making it easier for a burglar to go somewhere else

Extra Safe Lock thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

You should see the puzzle on the other side of the door!

QuotaBills
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

Confidence is the hinge on the door to success. - Mary O'Hare Dumas

Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. - Ursula K. Le Guin

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door. - Emily Dickinson

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

All successful revolutions are the kicking in of a rotten door. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Shut the door will the 2 of yas, we're catchin' ammonia. - Archie Bunker

The door of opportunity won't open unless you do some pushing. - Unknown

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

When you ask "What if..." you open the door to all your options. - Unknown

He who is outside his door has the hardest part of his journey behind him. - Flemish Proverb

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

We make our friends. We make our enemies. But God makes our next-door neighbour. - G K Chesterton

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. - Saul Bellow

The door that nobody else will go in at seems always to swing open widely for me. - Clara Barton

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

If a door slams shut it means that God is pointing to an open door further on down. - Anna Delaney Peale

Some people not only expect opportunity to knock, they expect it to beat the door down. - Unknown

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments. - Thich Nhat Hanh

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

You can tell a man isn't handy when he asks the man next door how to get blood off a saw. - Milton Berle

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. - Dolly Parton

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

My heart to you is given:
Oh, do give yours to me;
We'll lock them up together,
And throw away the key. - Frederick Saunders

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson


Fresh Air Computing

Porpoise Pilots

Sorry Employees

Sidecar

Middle East Play House

Cadillac Clearance

Don't Believe Everything You Read

Bee Prepared

Stolen Car

Paper Face

End Of The Line

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

Sheep in Wool Clothing

Admin Assistant Bird

Game's On

Backtracker Special

What Are Your Skills?

Just Because You Are Right

Scooter Races

Tired Backhoe

Liftup Lunch

Stereo Bike

Yoga in Palm Springs

Bartender Spill