Fedorable Platypuses

It takes a whole village to raise a child. - African Proverb

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

It takes an entire village to raise a child. - African Proverb

One hour with a child is like a ten-mile run. - Joan B. Samuelson

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. - Judy Collins

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

The most important question in the world is, "Why is the child crying?" - Alice Walker

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

You can be childlike without being childish. A child always wants to have fun. Ask yourself, 'Am I having fun?' - Christopher Meloni

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan