#1 humor site on the 'net

Goose Doors

For those who want to get goosed...

Goose Doors thanks to Keith Blake

Animal safety at work

QuotaBills
When one door shuts, a hundred open. - Spanish Proverb

Confidence is the hinge on the door to success. - Mary O'Hare Dumas

One man's goose is another man's dander. - Archie Bunker

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. - English Proverb

Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door. - Emily Dickinson

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. - Flora Whittemore

All successful revolutions are the kicking in of a rotten door. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Shut the door will the 2 of yas, we're catchin' ammonia. - Archie Bunker

The door of opportunity won't open unless you do some pushing. - Unknown

listen; there's a hell of a good universe next door: let's go - e e cummings

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

When you ask "What if..." you open the door to all your options. - Unknown

He who is outside his door has the hardest part of his journey behind him. - Flemish Proverb

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. - John Barrymore

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the goose. - Fred Allen

Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight. - Harvey Milk

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

The door that nobody else will go in at seems always to swing open widely for me. - Clara Barton

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Some people not only expect opportunity to knock, they expect it to beat the door down. - Unknown

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments. - Thich Nhat Hanh

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

You can tell a man isn't handy when he asks the man next door how to get blood off a saw. - Milton Berle

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. - Dolly Parton

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. - Ginnifer Goodwin

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

You can spend your precious energy beating down closed doors, or you can choose the doors that open when you knock. - Unknown

When you're following your inner voice, doors tend to eventually open for you, even if they mostly slam at first. - Kelly Cutrone

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Thirteen roadways lead through life
To thirteen doors of death,
Homeward from foolish fears and strife
We float on failing breath. - Tao


East Coast Winter Graffiti

Politician Plane

How To Argue With A Woman

Patio Losers

Wings Fans Are Ruthless

Temple Car

Netherlands Parking Lot

Model T Snowmobile

Tulip Snowpath

New Audi

Tower of Hammocks

Family Birthday Reminder

Dead Batteries

Ostrich Bush

Tetris Cake

T-Rex Shadow

Ordnance Table

Wine Bibber

Redneck Wireless Selfie

Tylenol Ban

GoosePrints

Louisiana Potholes

Cheers!

Billy Goat Gruff