#1 humor site on the 'net

Grow Your Own Dope

Canada's new marijuana laws yield new products

Grow Your Own Dope thanks to Howard Chapman

Improving spouse relationships - how to get along with him

QuotaBills
Man is what he reads. - Joseph Brodsky

Two monsoons are the age of a man. - Bombay Proverb

Don't grow up - it's a trap! - Unknown

Danger and delight grow on one stalk. - English Proverb

A clever man commits no minor blunders. - Goethe

Where a man feels pain he lays his hand. - Dutch Proverb

The man with no imagination has no wings. - Muhammad Ali

When I grow up, I want to be a little boy. - Joseph Heller

Man is free at the instant he wants to be. - Voltaire

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

The best way to hold a man is in your arms. - Mae West

Growth itself contains the germ of happiness. - Pearl S. Buck

It's a point or setter plant (poinsettia). - Archie Bunker

Every man's memory is his private literature. - Aldous Huxley

Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose. - Baltasar Gracian

A man is not old as long as he is seeking something. - Jean Rostand

I ain't a man of carnival instinctuals like you. - Archie Bunker

When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground. - African Proverb

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope. - Ogden Nash

The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day. - John Milton

In growing old, we become more foolish - and more wise. - Francois de la Rochefoucauld

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

If a man has common sense, he has all the sense there is. - Sam Rayburn

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Every man knows he will die but no one wants to believe it. - Yiddish Proverb

A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can. - Michel de Montaigne

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. - Laurence J. Peter

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

The great man is one who never loses his child’s heart. - Mencius

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

The man who forgets to be grateful has fallen asleep in life. - Robert Louis Stevenson

He is a man, and he is afraid. This is not a good combination. - Kristin Hannah

It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be. - J K Rowling

No warning can save a people determined to grow suddenly rich. - Lord Overstone

It is well that war is terrible. We should grow too fond of it. - Robert E Lee

The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out. - Chinese Proverb

The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is. - George Bernard Shaw

A man's worth is no greater than the worth of his ambitions. - Marcus Aurelius

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? - Stanislaw J. Lec

Men do not shape destiny. Destiny produces the man for the hour. - Fidel Castro

A man who will not get scared on some occasions, lacks good sense. - Edgar Watson Howe

Always be ready to speak your mind, and a base man will avoid you. - William Blake

Poetry is the statement of a relation between a man and the world. - Wallace Stevens

Heresies are experiments in man's unsatisfied search for truth. - H G Wells

Any man or institution that tries to rob me of my dignity will lose. - Nelson Mandela

To save a man's life against his will is the same as killing him. - Horace

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

The first lesson a revolutionary must learn is that he is a doomed man. - Huey P. Newton

If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn. - Andrew V. Mason

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. - Ernest Hemingway

There was a young man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two. - Unknown

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

The great and glorious masterpiece of man is to know how to live to purpose. - Michel de Montaigne

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Man only likes to count his troubles; he doesn't calculate his happiness. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

If a man does not know what port he is steering for, no wind is favorable to him. - Seneca

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do. - Andrew Carnegie

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. - Unknown

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. - H L Mencken

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. - George Bernard Shaw

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

If you want to have more, you have to become more. You have to grow into your goals. - Jim Rohn

Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. - Oliver W. Holmes

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others. - Ayn Rand

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

No such thing as a man willing to be honest - that would be like a blind man willing to see. - F Scott Fitzgerald

A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts. - James Allen

Man is certainly stark mad. He cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens. - Montaigne

At 20 a man thinks he can save the world. At 40 he's lucky if he can save part of his salary. - Unknown

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln

The immature man wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mature man wants to live humanely for one. - Wilheim Stekel

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. - Unknown

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. - Mark Twain

A poet can write about a man slaying a dragon, but not about a man pushing a button that releases a bomb. - W H Auden

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

Grow up, and that is a terribly hard thing to do. It is much easier to skip it and go from one childhood to another. - F Scott Fitzgerald

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. - Rodney Dangerfield

Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there! - Minnie Pearl

Who is the happiest man? He who is alive to the merit of others, and can rejoice in their enjoyment as if it were his own. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. - Agatha Trunchbull

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

A man who is used to acting in one way never changes; he must come to ruin when the times, in changing, no longer are in harmony with his ways. - Niccolo Machiavelli

It is easy - terribly easy - to shake a man's faith in himself. To take advantage of that, to break a man's spirit, is devil's work. - George Bernard Shaw

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault


Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain

Eddie Reward

Got Them All

Owlvis Presley

Motorcycle Limo

Runaway Tree

Human Explosion

Air Force Pilots

See You Later

Lunch Admirers