#1 humor site on the 'net

Hats Off

Uncovering the true Director

Hats Off thanks to Keith Blake

Bald check

QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

Birds of a feather flock together. - English Proverb

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

Sometime the peacock wish to be the seagull. - Jamaican Saying

Heavenly bodies are nests of invisible birds. - Dejan Stojanovic

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird. - Coco Chanel

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I wish I could stand on a busy street corner, hat in hand and beg people to throw me all of their wasted hours. - Bernard Berenson

One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses. - Dale Carnegie

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear


Aussie Ford Coupe

Latte Defined

Anti-Bird Protection

Helping Hands In The Stands

Mouth Candy

Nose Hair? She needs a Barb-hair

Window Washers at a Children's Hospital

Spaghetti Digest

Ready Soon

iPhone Charger

Tube Travel

Redneck Tree Fort

OCD Guy

World's Tallest Bus

Long Liquor Store

Happy Wood Pig

On Top Of Things

Anail Retention

Bat Flight

The No Brainer

Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast