#1 humor site on the 'net

Husband Creche

Make this your alternative shopping plan

Husband Creche thanks to Howard Chapman

Day-care center for husbands

QuotaBills
A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can even call yourself a beginner. - Jerry Seinfeld

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. - Milton Berle

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


Yoga in Palm Springs

Bartender Spill

Tetris Logger

Pigging Out in El Paso

Foot Care

Guitar Dog

Cutout Coin Silhouettes

Tree Tattoo

Alt-Ctrl-Del Pillows

Portable GPS

Australian Cyclist

Helicopter Cuts

Holland Bike Lane - For Pros Only

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Foosball for Girls

Youth Walk

Last Selfie

Broccoli Muffins

Get Along Shirt

Rooftop Steps

It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale