#1 humor site on the 'net

I Eat Soldiers For Breakfast

Air Force drops troops of food into Afghanistan

I Eat Soldiers For Breakfast thanks to Keith Blake

New airdrop program cuts out middleman

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

The army is the true nobility of our country. - Napoleon III

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller


Never Go Full Retard

Floor Legs

Bowen Arrow

Aussie Mailbox

Pike Mouth Nest

Horse-Back Riding

Same Mistake Twice

Vegan Dentist

Smirnoff Women

Burnout Indication

Filet Minion

Israeli Moving Company

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Crab Collection

Gas-Resistant Pram

A Balanced Diet

How To Build A Fence

It's Broken Now

Lost Luggage

Portable Samurai

Give Her Crabs For Christmas

Target Entry

Help For Dead Children

In Touch Today