#1 humor site on the 'net

Ice Cream Thief

Wilbur's fat-free ice cream cone was for the birds

Ice Cream Thief thanks to Keith Blake

Bird food high on calories

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

An art thief is a man who takes pictures. - George Carlin

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat. - Wendell Berry

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli


Smoking Hot Body

Take Away Van

Emotion Stew

Appenzell, Switzerland

Holy Day Inn

Rising To The Occasion

High Wire Act

Sunday Drive in the Country

Cloud Swing

Playground Child Eliminator

The Joe-kster Working Out

Flipper Soccer

Superior Church

Redneck Auto Mechanic

Playground Drivers

Trunk Drinkers

Foamtastic

Pyramid Kiss

What Goes Round Comes Round

Mistaken Door

Cleanup

Leave Toes Outside

Google Age

Meat Loaf