#1 humor site on the 'net

Is Lunch Ready?

Patient waiting line awaits unraveling of fish net

Is Lunch Ready? thanks to Wayne Nowazek

When food tastes a foot away

QuotaBills
You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

Life is a rollercoaster. Try to eat a light lunch. - David A. Schmaltz

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Out for lunch. If not back by five, out for dinner also. - Unknown

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli


Cell Phone Booth

Topless Kate Middleton

Skype Hype

Almost Batman

Cadillac Bike

Donut Decadence

Manmade Beach in Japan

Bacon Bikes

Animal Taxi

Lego Key Holder

Mechanic Apprentice

Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg

Fork Door Handle

Making Hockey More Popular

Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art