#1 humor site on the 'net

Just Saying Goodbye

New government program to reduce Social Security costs

Just Saying Goodbye thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Warm up the bus!

To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry when I thought of you. Then it dawned on me ... oh, crap ... I’ll see you on the bus!

QuotaBills
Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato


Quit Your Wining

Beef Teeth

Poor Fortune Cookie Message

Dance With Me

Redneck Fish Finder

Pepper Face

Better Than Concrete

Guaranteed Women Attraction

Rib Tickler

Spring Is In The Air

Safe Seat Belt

Leaf Surgery

Keyboard Running Shoes

Ten Miles Gallery

30th 'Pearl' Wedding Anniversary of Trudy and Joe Defries

Pickup Bartender

Tree Loft

Instant Antidepressant

Ukraine Skype

Who Lost The Keys?

Great White Socks

Master Chef Eggspert

Tire Trike

Pokemon Chasing