#1 humor site on the 'net

Late Lecture

Preparing for a late night confrontation

Late Lecture thanks to Keith Blake

Late timing leads to elderly showdown

QuotaBills
Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Pity is just another form of abuse. - Michael J. Fox

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Men will let you abuse them only if you make them laugh. - Henry Ward Beecher

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

In terms of being late or not starting at all, then it's never too late. - Alison Headley

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato


UniCorn

Less Is More

Taking The Bait

Puppy Circle

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Hair Weavers

Chemical Solutions

Stealth Snake

Coffee Morning

WrenchWare

Pushing The Envelope

Social Media Explained

Pumping Services

Turn Into Lanes

Bull Squirrel

Sleep With Us

One Tough Lady!

Meep Meep

Just Thinking

Boneless Bananas

Fallen Heroes

Best Way To Honor The Fallen

Veterans Day Holiday

Life of Freedom and Peace