#1 humor site on the 'net

Maid Confusion

Clearing up who does the housework

Maid Confusion thanks to Mike King

A relationship 'not maid' for him

QuotaBills
Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Advertising Agency: Eighty-five percent confusion and fifteen percent commission. - Fred Allen

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old. - Groucho Marx

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. - Margaret Thatcher

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

He who begins with Metaphysics will not only become confused in matters of religion, but will fall into complete infidelity. - Maimonides

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. - Oscar Wilde

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan


Lawntastic Scenery

Hallway Detour

For Your Synths

Ladder Load

Beach Drag

Amish Smart Car

Sitting on the Hot Seat

Redneck Wiener Roast

Free Trip To Heaven

Is There a Hell For Animals?

Double Line Parking

Without Government

Nose For Coke

Crisp Chips

3 Stages Of A Man's Life

Tipsy Crane

Clear View

Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity