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Morning Paper

When breakfast catches up with the news

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Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette

Easy reading is damn hard writing. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

What is reading, but silent conversation. - Walter Savage Landor

Them eggs over there are startin' to foment. - Archie Bunker

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

A good newspaper, I suppose, is a nation talking to itself. - Arthur Miller

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket. - Mark Twain

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing about. - Benjamin Franklin

I have never known any distress that an hour's reading did not relieve. - Charles de Montesquieu

Sometimes I've believed as many as six possible things before breakfast. - Lewis Caroll

If everything is good in the henhouse yous don't have to go out for eggs. - Archie Bunker

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough, but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever. - Garrison Keillor

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking and do something no one else is doing. - Bob McLaren

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. - Gore Vidal

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


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