#1 humor site on the 'net

No Smoking Fish

How to tell if someone doesn't like smoked fish

No Smoking Fish thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Where only healthy fish swim

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

We've got a name for sushi in Georgia... bait. - Blake Clark

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

For every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. - Mark Twain

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan


Costco Wine

Downer Parking

Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey

Meal Alert

Turkey Not

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Going Cold Turkey

Bacon Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Biggest Turkeys

Turkish Architecture

Ghost Food

Turkey Weather Forecast

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Redneck Car Upgrade

Box Fill Overload

Hiding Horse

Traffic Jam Intersection

Re-Cycled Beef