Paper Scissors Cop

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. - Will Rogers

If they give you ruled paper, write the other way. - Juan Ramon Jimenez

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. - Pearl Bailey

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

A verbal agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

I can forget and you can forget, but a piece of paper never forgets. - Unknown

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

If life gives you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts. - Unknown

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

I think I'm right-brained, incapable of managing my way out of a brown paper bag. - Jeremy Grantham

My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way. - Ernest Hemingway

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. - Gene Fowler

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

It is often wonderful how putting down on paper a clear statement of a case helps one to see, not perhaps the way out, but the way in. - Arthur Christopher Benson

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - General Colin Powell