Paper Scissors Cop

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. - Will Rogers

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials. - Will Rogers

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

A verbal agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

I can forget and you can forget, but a piece of paper never forgets. - Unknown

If life gives you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts. - Unknown

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it is to be God. - Sidney Sheldon

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way. - Ernest Hemingway

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - General Colin Powell