#1 humor site on the 'net

Paper Scissors Cop

New approach to fighting speeding tickets

Paper Scissors Cop thanks to Barry McCartney

Playing Russian Roulette with a policeman

QuotaBills
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. - Will Rogers

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials. - Will Rogers

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

A verbal agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

I can forget and you can forget, but a piece of paper never forgets. - Unknown

If life gives you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts. - Unknown

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it is to be God. - Sidney Sheldon

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way. - Ernest Hemingway

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - General Colin Powell


Media Bondage

Redneck ATV

Duct Tape - for a Prettier World

Don't Get Your Head In A Knot

Cornfield Fishing

Dawn Gone

Highest Human Position In The World

Together Since

You Never Call

CLUMSY Driver

Water Short

Post Research

Motorcycle Taxi

Columbia Street Party

Fly By Meal

Down Day

Hanging Out With Friends

You Want Me To Do What?

Mirror Lake

Kitchen Thing

Light Road

Coffee Spoon

Show Stopper

Water Judge