QuotaBillsMake crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers
All people look better under arrest. - John Waters
Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman
Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. - Will Rogers
Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy
If they give you ruled paper, write the other way. - Juan Ramon Jimenez
The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren
All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite
Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne
Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. - Pearl Bailey
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw
My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? - Jay Leno
My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov
I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove
A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it is to be God. - Sidney Sheldon
Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry
I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin
It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle
My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way. - Ernest Hemingway
France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder
I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde
Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya
If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin
Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers
Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock
A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson
The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno
Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. - Gene Fowler
Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen
When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko
Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff
I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker