Racial Profiling Starts Early

Inspiration and genius - one and the same. - Victor Hugo

Inspiration exists, but it must find you working. - Pablo Picasso

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. - Sigmund Freud

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

No one was ever great without some portion of divine inspiration. - Cicero

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

I think of inspiration as desire infused with spirit and topped with an almost reckless optimism. - Fred White

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. - Evan Esar

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Inspiration comes unawares, from unaccountable sources that have nothing to do with planning or intelligence. - Maurice Chevalier

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be. - Horace Bushnell

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller