#1 humor site on the 'net

Rollkuchen Sandwich

Nothing like a watermelon slice inside a Rollkuchen

Rollkuchen Sandwich thanks to Andrea Robbins

QuotaBills
Zombies hate fast food. - Unknown

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


How To Reduce Complaints at Work

Corset Bound

Bike Trike

Pizza Air's Inaugural Delivery

Tomato IV

Mechanic's Work Table

Alzheimer's Wing

I Don't Have Mushroom

Texas Peace Sign

Letting Your Hair Down

Eagle Makeup

Everything Is OK

Knot Art

Zipper Scar Tattoo

Swiss Army Mega Tools

Law of Emotion

Eiffel Tower Modifications

Joyous Lawyers

Acupuncture Face

Star Wars Episode VIII

LiverPool

Digger Dog

You Guys Make Me Sick

Chu Your Food Well