#1 humor site on the 'net

Slimming Staircase

Be stair-full where you exercise this year

Slimming Staircase thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Stepping down on the calories

QuotaBills
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a healthy, wise old man. - Lin Yutang

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Milking Time On The Farm

Chain Mail

Lunch Break

Wash Day On The Farm

High Tide Heels

Frozen Fish Meal

Stork Exhaust

I 'Saw' An Accident

Protractor Cook

Street Genius

Rebar Walker

No Worries

Road To Success

Politician Training

Math in Africa

Customers Wanted

Sock Storage

Hung Out To Dry

Need More Horsepower?

Japanese Diving Platform

Water Taxi

Wrench Family

How To Burn Fat

Ghetto Boat