#1 humor site on the 'net

This Is A Window

Guidelines for door-challenged employees

This Is A Window thanks to Mike King

How to safely make it to your office

QuotaBills
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

If you want the girl next door, go next door. - Joan Crawford

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. - Unknown

Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door. - Emily Dickinson

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. - Clarence Thomas

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. - Flora Whittemore

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

When the prison doors are opened, the real dragon will fly out. - Ho Chi Minh

If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade. - Tom Peters

listen; there's a hell of a good universe next door: let's go - e e cummings

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. - John Barrymore

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

The door that nobody else will go in at seems always to swing open widely for me. - Clara Barton

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

Faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the window which hope has opened. - Charles Spurgeon

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake

You can tell a man isn't handy when he asks the man next door how to get blood off a saw. - Milton Berle

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. - Dolly Parton

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. - Ginnifer Goodwin

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

When you're following your inner voice, doors tend to eventually open for you, even if they mostly slam at first. - Kelly Cutrone

Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in. - Alan Alda

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

“But it doesn't take a thousand men to open a door, my lord."
"It might to keep it open.” - Ursula K. Le Guin

We do not need to attend classroom training programs for everything. Observation opens the windows of knowledge around us. - Sukant Ratnakar

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. - Dale Carnegie

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. - Helen Keller


Rabbit Boost

Engine-eering

Mustang Limo

Eye've Been To The Beach

Found The Apple Maps Car

Husband Frosted Cupcakes

Pantastic Crop

Log Haulers

Caffeine Boosters

Where I Live

hAir Force One

Sad Truth About The Oscars

Happy Hour Bike Club

Big Boots To Fill

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Want To Fiddle Around?

Eagle Hunt

Wurst Wi-Fi

Don't Want Your Child To Text And Drive?

Just Need Juan

Bubba's Bubble Wrap

Burst Basketball Court

Apple Car

Bus Legs - Close Shave Bus