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Toemongous

Multiple personalities toeing the line

Toemongous thanks to Howard Chapman

Why Mervin wears extra large socks

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The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Reaching high keeps a man on his toes. - Unknown

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Wit is the key, I think, to anybody's heart. Show me the person who doesn't like to laugh and I'll show you a person with a toe tag. - Julia Roberts

Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! - Joseph Addison


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