#1 humor site on the 'net

Useful Apple Computer

Beer Server G3 (Guzzle 3X) Technology

Useful Apple Computer thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Bubba's first laptop didn't sit on his lap

QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

The writer is the engineer of the human soul. - Joseph Stalin

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Scientists discover the world that exists; engineers create the world that never was. - Theodore von Karman

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The Swedish engineer who invented the zip fastener made a greater intellectual leap than many scientists do in a lifetime. - Martin Rees

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

Whenever you are embarrassed, just remember that in 1999 NASA destroyed a $655 Million project because the engineers mistook kilograms and pounds. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster


One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life