#1 humor site on the 'net

Wine Aerobics

What a corkscrew bottle opener does to keep in shape

Wine Aerobics thanks to Howard Chapman

Kitchen excercise always precedes a good bottle of wine

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. - Unknown

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me. - Mark Twain

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. - Paul Terry

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert Hutchins

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke


Student Food Strainer

Shark Circles

Topographic Sink

Rock Watcher

We Call It Lake

Single Men For Long-Term Commitment

Sitting Just Off Center

Dentist Bowling

Maybe Shame Will Stop Her

Penalty Shot

Puppy Taco

On The Edge

Laptop Cooler

Bruce Lee Coffee

Stealth Cat

Fish Hawg

Bee Beard

Titanic Trailer

Porsche Bird Droppings

Foosball Maze

Brain Logic

Kickback - England

Preschool Parking

Look Daddy - Baby Kittens!