#1 humor site on the 'net

Zoo Dude

Lizard man goes to the fore-front

Zoo Dude thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Friends mistakingly call him Liz

Zoo Dude thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
A wig is a wig is a wig. - Billy Zane

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - George Carlin

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffet

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat? - Dr Gonzo

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

Don't point that beard at me – it might go off. - Groucho Marx

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

You can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig. - Shemar Moore

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

As long as I can wear a wig I can be any character, and in real life I can be myself. - Ginnifer Goodwin

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

If you wear a wig, everybody notices. But if you then dye the wig, people notice the dye. - Andy Warhol

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion. - Nicolas Cage

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there! - Minnie Pearl

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

I'm acting when I serve as a hostess, when I run my wig business. I was born to act, and life itself is the greatest part. - Eva Gabor

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro


Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy

Fresh Air Computing

Porpoise Pilots

Sorry Employees

Sidecar

Middle East Play House

Cadillac Clearance

Don't Believe Everything You Read

Bee Prepared

Stolen Car

Paper Face

End Of The Line

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

Sheep in Wool Clothing

Admin Assistant Bird

Game's On