#1 humor site on the 'net

A Resting Lawn

Everything is relaxed on a Celebrity Cruise Ship

A Resting Lawn thanks to Ken Ward

Signs of a rest-full vacation

QuotaBills
As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. - Proverb

Travel is glamorous only in retrospect. - Paul Theroux

A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule. - Michael Pollan

A wise traveler never despises his own country. - Carlo Goldoni

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz

He who does not travel does not know the value of men. - Moorish Proverb

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. - Lao-tzu

There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign. - Robert Louis Stevenson

All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware. - Martin Buber

The traveler sees what he sees; the tourist sees what he has come to see. - G K Chesterton

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away. - Carol Burnett

Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself. - Zenrin

Books are no different from goats - they enjoy an afternoon out on the lawn. - Kate Bernheimer

A celebrity is a person known to many people he is glad he doesn't know. - H L Mencken

The grass may be greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut. - Little Richard

The grass withers, the flower fades
But the word of our God stands forever. - Isaiah 40:8

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversation. - Elizabeth Drew

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

While armchair travelers dream of going places, traveling armchairs dream of staying put. - Anne Tyler

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. - Henry Kissinger

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. - Oscar Wilde

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

I travel without barely any luggage. Just a second set of underwear and binoculars and a map and a toothbrush. - Werner Herzog

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang

For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living. - Miriam Beard

To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company. - Andre Gide

Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land. - G K Chesterton

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah


Revenge of the Stallion

Learning To 'Fly'

Legal Grounds

New Deer Rifle

Sushi To Go

Guess the Beer

Gut Check

World's First Computer

Bird Plane

At Home Grave

Stern Warning - a Not Yacht

No Shooting

Does Your Dog Look Unusual?

Golf Like I Do

Surreal Cubist

Transparent Touch Calculator

Young Piper

Escher Dilemma

Apple Watch

Obesity Is OK

Eye Like It

CensorShip

Boatload Interception

Canadian Kiss