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I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him. - Mignon McLaughlin

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown


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