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Antidepressants thanks to Howard Chapman

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Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him. - Mignon McLaughlin

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. - Dave Barry

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


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