#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby High Chair

Little Johnny uses his best friend to reach the table

Baby High Chair thanks to Keith Blake

Lending a helping head

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay


Rib Tickler

Spring Is In The Air

Safe Seat Belt

Leaf Surgery

Keyboard Running Shoes

Ten Miles Gallery

30th 'Pearl' Wedding Anniversary of Trudy and Joe Defries

Pickup Bartender

Tree Loft

Instant Antidepressant

Ukraine Skype

Who Lost The Keys?

Great White Socks

Master Chef Eggspert

Tire Trike

Pokemon Chasing

Welcome To Texas

Which Way To Go?

Happy ARRRRRRRHH!

Underground Parking

TV Conference

Chair Master

Killing Bugs

Alligator Ice