#1 humor site on the 'net

Bacon My Heart

Music to create a breakfast appetite

Bacon My Heart thanks to Phil Beedle

Fried eggs and bacon - breakfast of champions

QuotaBills
Bacon is meat candy. - Unknown

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

Life is short. Eat cookies for breakfast. - Unknown

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

When I was a kid everyone used to call me pork 'n. - Michael Biehn

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon. - David Lynch

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

Bacon is going to save the world. I don't know how but it will. - Unknown

Even if the ball was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn't find it. - Unknown

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves. - WC Fields

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon. - Unknown

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


My Last Swim In The Ocean

Dog Tired After Work

Hammock Wine

Parenting Skills

Property Boundary

Tree Nurture

Beer Floating

Police Targeting

Hard Hat Safety

Don't Try This At Home

Canadian Bees

Spray-On Clothing

Five Firm Brakes Tire

Venice in Winter

Turntable Bike

Sail Flight

Number Eight Laziness

Newfie Snowplow

Safety Nap

$383.00 Paint Job

Boneless Chicken

Hiking For Beginners

Mustache Soother

Been Sleeping In The Sun