#1 humor site on the 'net

Birth Control Kit

Guaranteed to work or double your offspring back

Birth Control Kit thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Bubba's basics for pregnancy prevention

Available with plug and play options

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift


Pringle Art

Our Dog Snowballs

Forest Guardian

Winter Parking Ticket

Snow Monster

Oregon State Troopers

Looks Like Monday

Her Majesty's Service

Japanese Sleep Cushions

'Line' Dancers

Winter Hotrod

Largest Fiddle In The World

Bottle Curtains

Niger River Crocodile

Cat Nap Cuties

Frog Parking

Must Return Shopping Cart

Largest Flower In The World

Sunday Weather Forecast

Why Men Need Post-It Notes

Rough Skinned Newt

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Patriots Air Pressure

Texas Wal-Mart Shopper