#1 humor site on the 'net

Boneless Bananas

Latest in free range, gluten free food

Boneless Bananas thanks to Dave Loewen

Lose any more weight and they'll become Plantains

Boneless Bananas thanks to Dave Loewen

QuotaBills
Abstain from beans. - Pythagoras

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

They're picking bananas in Brazil and them Indians down there, they don't care about what you look like. - Archie Bunker

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas." - Claude Pepper


Family Photo

Is Laughter The Best Medicine?

Plastered Wall Plasterer

Waffle Board

Stairway Repair

Cowboy Bubble Bath

Trunk Load

Centennial Puff

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Redneck Hitch Attachment

Texas Rims

Window Fall Repair

Louvre Paintings

Parking Spot For Women

Generations Past And Present

Jumping The Gun

New Speed Trap

Window Cleaning in New York

Welcome Beer Mat

Mr. Dressup II

Puppy Special

Breast Cancer Cure

Who Needs Physics?

Bach Scratching