#1 humor site on the 'net

Crash Course in Texas Weather

The Four Seasons y'all remember

Crash Course in Texas Weather thanks to Keith Blake

Your choice between dry, arid, humid, sticky, hot or hotter

QuotaBills
The brain is wider than the sky. - Emily Dickinson

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

Knock on the sky and listen to the sound. - Zen Saying

I started out as a gaseous cloud. Then I cooled. - Jack Nicholson

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. - Bob Dylan

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds. - Mike Tyson

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

The visions are fragmented and a dark cloud spreads like spilt ink across the pages of possible futures. - Garth Nix

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

That black cloud is coming from the direction the wind is blowing, now the wind is coming from where the black cloud is. - Ray Illingworth

The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

The tropical rain forests are a telling example. Once cut down, they rarely recover. Rainfall drops, deserts spread, the climate warms. - James Lovelock

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

It's better to look at the sky than live there. Such an empty place; so vague. Just a country where the thunder goes and things disappear. - Truman Capote

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright


Skateboarding Duck

Hospital Gown Insurance

Mobile Swamp Home

Spring Rolls

Circle Stroke Bikes

Sad TP

Concrete Guestrooms

Spiderman Face Cup

Tick, Tick Good Buddy

Waterfront Icons

Redneck Backhoe Operator

Shanty Town, New Zealand - Potty Pic

Modern Love Affair

Sleepmobile

Osoyoos Sasquatch

Wal-Mart Job Application

Wired Cars

Limit Of Two

Facebook Red Light

Suspended Bedroom

Boss Bird

Static Cat

Matching Receipt

Graffiti Removing Graffiti