#1 humor site on the 'net

Dementia Purse

You can find it now!

Dementia Purse thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Is it forgetfulness or dementia?

QuotaBills
Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

But men are men; the best sometimes forget. - William Shakespeare

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

I never deny.
I never contradict.
I sometimes forget. - Benjamin Disraeli

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. - Carl W. Buechner

Forget all the reasons it won't work and believe the one reason that it will. - Unknown

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse." - Francois Morency

The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough. - Amy Weintraub

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Tell me and I'll forget. Show me and I may not remember. Involve me and I'll understand. - Native American Proverb

There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

In today's rush, we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just being. - Eckhart Tolle

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

It's only lonely at the top if you forget all the people you met along the way and fail to acknowledge their contributions to your success. - Harvey Mackay

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin


Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?