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Do Not Read Law

If you can read this, you're guilty

Do Not Read Law thanks to Jim Serritella

Trying to make sense of legal jargon

QuotaBills
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

Stocks do not move unless they are pushed. - S Jay Levin

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

The first lesson reading teaches is how to be alone. - Jonathan Franzen

There is creative reading as well as creative writing. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I do not like work, even when somebody else is doing it. - Mark Twain

You do not get what you want. You get what you negotiate. - Harvey Mackay

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? - Steven Wright

Menopause in progress: go around and do not make eye contact. - Unknown

Do not remove the ancient landmark that your ancestors set up. - Bible

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. - Winston Churchill

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Do not be afraid of mistakes, providing you do not make the same one twice. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Do not look down upon any Muslim, for even the most inferior believer is great in the eyes of God. - Abu Bakr

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

The irony of the matter is that the future generations do not have a vote. In effect, we hold their proxy. - Charles J Hitch

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

The natural idealism of youth is an idealism, alas, for which we do not always provide as many outlets as we should. - Sargent Shriver

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. - Robin Casarjian

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

If you think that praise is due, now's the time to show it, 'cause a man can't read his tombstone when he's dead. - Unknown

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches. - Rainer Maria Rilke

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton


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