#1 humor site on the 'net

Food Exchange

Does your restaurant have a no-return policy?

Food Exchange thanks to Barry McCartney

Trading up for a box of chicken McNuggets

QuotaBills
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. - Henry Thoreau

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Decide what you want, what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. - HL Hunt

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton


Fly By Meal

Down Day

Hanging Out With Friends

You Want Me To Do What?

Mirror Lake

Kitchen Thing

Light Road

Coffee Spoon

Show Stopper

Water Judge

Litter of DalCations

Fitness On The Bus

Deluxe Peanut Butter Jam Sandwich

Neighbour's Fence

Smoking Hot Body

Take Away Van

Emotion Stew

Appenzell, Switzerland

Holy Day Inn

Rising To The Occasion

High Wire Act

Sunday Drive in the Country

Cloud Swing

Playground Child Eliminator